Beauty in the Brokenness

There is a beauty in brokenness.

It’s hard to see sometimes.

But it’s there.

In the tears.

In the pain.

In the vulnerability.

It can bring us closer to God if we let it.

It can change us for the better.

This is good news my friends.

I am tired of acting like I got it all together.

I don’t.  I’m a mess.  Most people that I know are a mess.  Broken.  Crushed spirits. Pretending. Hoping tomorrow will be better.  Hiding their true feelings.  Feeling alone. Ashamed because of the way they feel.

Truth…… I’m not really enjoying being a mom lately.  I love my kids.  More than anything. They are one of a kind.  Truly a blessing in my life.  But I really don’t like them right now. Ya.  That sounds awful. I’ve got my reasons.  I’m sure I could justify my feelings in some way.  HA!   But guess what.  Too many moms I know feel this way.  Only no one will admit it out loud until they hear someone else say it. (ME)  So they feel shame.  Guilt.  They feel like a bad mom.  Hopeless.  Carrying these burdens alone.  Afraid to reach out.

Don’t worry.

I’m the mom who can admit it.  You want to feel good about your life?  Stop on by.  My house will give you a big boost.  Seriously.  If my house is clean, you got good timing.  My bathroom trash is overflowing (not even my chore).  The folded clothes on my bed haven’t been put away in 12 days.  I just tell the kids to come get their clothes off my bed in the morning.  The door handle going into my garage has been on the floor for over a week.  I won’t go on.  If you feel sorry for me, I think that is the Holy Spirit leading you to stop by and give my kids a lesson on how to clean and use a drill.

We are a mess.  A beautiful broken mess.  We’ve been through a lot.  My kids have seen much pain in their short lil lives.  They’ve watched me, the one person they can rely on, be a total mess.  They’ve watched me break in secret after holding it all together in front of everyone else.

One thing I keep telling my kids lately is that we cannot always control what happens to us or around us.   But we can control our reaction.  We have choices.  That part is up to us.  How we respond will determine how we come out of the situation.

So today I have a choice.  I can keep going on feeling pity for myself.  I can go on thinking about the worst case scenario.  I can dwell on the bad behavior from my kids.  I can lose my temper when I feel out of control.  I can set a bad example for them.  I can be depressed.  I can let my emotions control my thoughts, ruin relationships, and push everyone away.  I can go on with a perspective that allows the storm to trample me.

Or, I can choose to see the beauty in all of it. I can choose to set my mind on things above. I can choose to have faith in God’s promises to me.  I can choose to rely on the Holy Spirit.  I can choose to once again have a God-centered mindset.  And, according to a wise woman named Carolynn Parton, my perspective can allow me to ride on top of the storm instead of being trampled by it.

I can choose to see my kids in the light God sees them in.  I may have to make this choice 150 times a day, but I can still do it.  God is near me.  When my spirit is weak, HE is IN me. He brings people my way that remind me of His love.

I’m broken.  You’re broken.  God makes us whole.  God makes us beautiful.  His thoughts towards us are not defined by our situation.  Our past.  Or our mistakes.  Our choices do not change the way Christ feels about us.  Our thoughts, however, can prevent us from seeing ourselves the way he does.  They can prevent us from seeing our loved ones the way Yahweh does.

If we are good enough for the Creator of the Universe to love us, why can’t we love ourselves.  If our current situation in life doesn’t move God, why do we allow it to shake us?

 

 

 

 

 

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